Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Being Too Nice Will Backfire

By Clifford N. Lazarus, Ph.D. / Source: Psychology Today

Sally's husband was often abusive. One morning, over breakfast, Hank began yelling at her because she was on the phone instead of keeping him company. Later, after Hank went to work, Sally picked up his shirts from the laundry, ran some other errands for him, and decided to cook his favorite dish for dinner.  Do you think Sally did the right thing?

Sally, alas, believed that if she could only create an ideal loving home atmosphere, her husband's abusiveness would stop. Unfortunately, she was in fact rewarding her husband's negative behavior. In response to his outbursts, Hank found his chores done for him and he was served his favorite dinner. Why would he change his treatment of his wife when she responds so positively?

The events that follow an action will weaken or strengthen the likelihood it will occur again. In behavioral psychology, this is called the "Law of Effect" and states that behavior varies as a function of its consequences.

READ THE FULL STORY HERE...

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