Misery is the Secret to Happiness

Source: Times of India

The key to a happy relationship could be accepting that some miserable times are unavoidable, experts say. Therapists from California State University, Northridge and Virginia Tech say accepting these problems is better than striving for perfection.

And they blame cultural fairytales and modern love stories for perpetuating the myth that enjoying a perfect relationship is possible. The report was published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

The authors, Diane Gehart and Eric McCollum say it is a "myth that, with enough effort we can achieve a state without suffering." And they say healthcare professionals may not be helping the situation. "The field of mental health perpetuates this myth with the very concept of 'mental health', which implies a state without suffering," they say.

But this belief can eventually cause people to believe that with enough effort they can eliminate suffering. And experts say this is an unrealistic aim in relationships, and striving to achieve it can lead people to feel they have failed.

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